Battle Tips for Freshman: How Your First Month of College Might Be Like the Zombie Apocalypse

After the initial thrill of leaving home for the first time, meeting your new roommate (who may turn out to be your BFF for the next four years or your mortal enemy), attending your first day of classes and eating in a dining hall that is uncomfortably reminiscent of what you experienced in high school, right down to the cliques, the Heathers and the mound of mash potatoes that look like stage props from Close Encounters of the Third Kind, a certain dazed and confused paralysis may set it. Do not worry: It happens to all college freshman.

After that first blissful week, you might find yourself wandering the college dorms, quads and classrooms like a new millennium zombie, as one foot is still firmly locked somewhere in high school and the other is tentatively shuffling you through the bizarre universe of college life. You might feel as if you are trapped in one of the circles of hell from Dante's Inferno; however, chances are you will not know it yet, as that type of literature class is usually open only to sophomores. Needless to say, do not despair. More importantly, do not call that long distance ex you tearfully said goodbye to at the end of summer, vowing to play the field and find true love because high school relationships are so yesterday.

In order to battle the zombie apocalypse, you need have the right tools and tactics. You need a cache of weaponry that will help you adapt to your new life at college. The apocalypse, which generally begins sometime in the fall, just when the leaves are starting to turn red and yellow and the nights are getting cooler, should never morph into a nuclear winter. By the time Christmas break rolls around, you should have your footing. Here are 3 tips to help you adapt to your new college landscape.

1. Homesickness comes in waves. Sure, escaping from your parents was like a jailbreak from Alcatraz, but you will miss them. You will miss your little sister stealing your clothes. You will miss meeting your friends at your favorite cafe. Once you know that homesickness is part of the college processes, you can accept it and move on. As your favorite guidance counselor might say: This is part of growing up.

2. The social hierarchy of college is a lot like high school, only on a much larger and more complicated level. There are more people, therefore there are more cliques, sub divisions, sub groups, coteries, inner circles, inner sanctums, Goths, jocks, alt girls....you get the idea. Navigating social groups and fitting in can be difficult. However, do not over-emphasis this fact. It takes a while to make friends. It takes even longer to make good friends.

3. In order to combat emotional zombie-ism, enroll in killer classes. While you might feel directionless during those first few months at college, you want to have your A-game when graduate. The current job market is far scarier than having no party to go to on Friday night.

 So what do you think your first week at school will be like?